Elli
When an Extrovert Goes Quiet: Finding Myself after Loss
I’m a slightly shy, somewhat awkward extrovert. By shy, I mean that I really have to psyche myself up to walk into a room full of strangers or into a group of people I haven’t met before. (I’ve never been so nervous as the day I arrived at the Miami airport to meet up with…
Read MoreAin’t No Fortunate One
As soon as the band began rocking out, that grin flashed across her face like lightning. Some folks are born to wave the flag, Ooh, they’re red, white and blue. And when the band plays “Hail to the chief”, Ooh, they point the cannon at you. It ain’t me, it ain’t me, I ain’t no…
Read MoreMother of a Teen… Sort Of
Thirteen years ago today: Five years ago: Happy thirteenth birthday, Elli. It’s weird to think I could be the mother of a teen today. On the one hand, I’m grateful that Elli didn’t have to endure puberty in a body that didn’t cooperate with her. I’m relieved that we didn’t have to put her…
Read MoreMy Grown-up Christmas Wish
Yesterday, I received the gift I hadn’t allowed myself to admit was at the top of my list. Our youngest had a checkup with his specialist. We’ve had to take him at least every 6 months for his entire life, sometimes more frequently, to keep on top of his condition and make sure we treated…
Read MoreHow I Face Christmas Without Her
Christmas has never been picture-perfect, or at least not since our first child was born almost thirteen (ouch) years ago. That first Christmas we just enjoyed having her home after three months’ worth of hospital stays, two open-heart surgeries, and three separate life-or-death crises. She was home, but with feeding tube, high-calorie formula, many prescriptions, and weekly…
Read MoreThis Year Is Different
It’s the end of October, the days are getting shorter, and for the first time in at least 5 years, I am enjoying fall again. It used to be my favorite season. Then, in 2007, our newborn baby had major surgery the day before Halloween. I looked at the fall calendar, saw that surgery date,…
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