[My Husband’s Perspective on Living Life
with a Wife on the Web]

Joy and I had just put the kiddos to bed. We plopped down on the couch, exhausted, with a bowl of fresh long-stemmed cherries between us. It was a tranquil, typical—and yes, perhaps somewhat sad scene: our dueling MacBook Pros whirring away on our respective laps, their illuminated Apple logos giving a soft, romantic glow to the dimly-lit family room.

I spit my cherry seed into the bowl with a tinny “Pa-ting.” Then I turned to her and, ignoring her unmistakable look of literary intensity, asked, “Want me to guest-write a post for your blog?”

“Sure,” she said halfheartedly after about a 5-second delay, and without looking up.

“Name your topic!” I said with a smug, unflappable air of confidence.

Another delay. Then, squinting into her screen, “Uh, nothing’s coming to mind.”

“Hmm,” I said. “How ‘bout a personal post about being a blogger’s husband?!”

The rest, dear readers, is history.

I am writing this cold. I have not scoured the internet to see if the “mommy blogger” movement (which my wife is adamantly NOT) has spawned a subculture, or support group, of husbands whose lives are much like mine. For me, anyway, it goes sort of like this:

Picture coming home from work to a family room that looks like a category 4 toy storm just ripped through. Crocs, cups, bowls, books, pets, pencils and remotes round out the ruins. And smack dab in the middle of it all: my Bride, a stunningly beautiful brunette on a fire engine red laptop, her fingernails click-click-clicking on the keyboard like an over-zealous conductor punching tickets on a passenger train.

big red laptop

Now don’t be misled by the mayhem. Joy is uber industrious. She taught Steven Covey everything he knows. Not a night goes by that she doesn’t prepare mouth-watering dinners that are fit for royalty. She works hard. She budgets her time. She plans our meals a month out. No grass grows under her feet. But she is much unlike most women in that she doesn’t let clutter cramp her style. She wears it like a wreath. She thrives in it.

Since its earliest days as “Joy’s Little Soapbox” in 2005, Joy’s eye-of-the-storm blogging has been a normal part of our family life. At the very start, it was more laid back, mostly serving as a fun photo gallery for the grandparents. But as our life took some erratic and tragic turns, her blog became a place for her to pour out some of her deepest, most honest theological questions and perplexities. It became a way for her to process. To grieve. To groan. Writing has always been her therapy, which for me has been a window with vistas of insight into how she is doing.

I am thankful that she has stuck with me—and the blog—for all these years. Where I might have forgotten a lot of the stories, the blog hasn’t. It’s a chronicling, an unfolding storyline of how she has found, is finding and will find Joy in this Journey—warts and all.

Although I never comment on Joy’s blog posts, I’m an active participant in them. She and I have grown very close interacting over topics before she posts them. Yes, at times, the discussions get spirited. And sometimes, I don’t agree with where she ends up. But I would not trade anything for the conversations it has kept alive about the things in life that matter most.

I often tell her I had no idea what I was getting into when I married a college debate team alum. I am not a debater, an arguer, or a fighter by any stretch. In many ways, Joy through her blog has brought more passion out of me. She has helped me to better articulate why I believe what I believe. She has sharpened me, as much as I have hopefully sharpened her in equal but opposite ways.

So blogger husbands, keep on loving that woman who lives so much of her life behind the laptop. Her words are windows that God has given you to study. Without them, you would not know her as well. Without them, you cannot love her as well.

And whatever you do, don’t talk to her while she’s typing. You just might catch a mouse up side the head.

Your turn — what’s life like being married to a blogger (or being a blogger who is married)?

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