nose piercedIt was a simple two-word question on my Facebook.

“Nose-piercing?”

It sparked immediate and polarized reaction. People of all ages loved the idea, people of all ages hated it. Some assumed I was thinking about piercing my own nose, others read it as a more general “what do you think about nose-piercing?” question.

It was both.

I am a bit of a pot-stirrer.

I like putting out-there things out there and seeing what comes back. I love getting 40, 50, 60 comments on a shocking statement.

But when friends have to add little wisdom nuggets like “I hope what your husband thinks carries some weight,” it ruins all the fun. Because in this case, my husband doesn’t like the idea.

Then, I read this post by my friend Tamara, “On Deciding to Pierce My Nose, Or Not.” She too was considering a nose piercing (just a tiny tasteful diamond, not a ginormous ring). She writes, “Most people thought I should go for it, and I felt confirmed. There was just one problem: My husband hated the idea. …This aggravated me because it was my nose and I could do with it what I wanted. And it is, and I can. But I realized there is only one person in the entire world for whom I care to be beautiful, and as it turns out, that one person is not me.

I was touched by her willingness to give up something she wanted for her husband. Hurray for love! Good for her! Fairytales and rose-colored glasses and unicorns! (Tamara, you can stop snorting now.) It was love-wins for my friend. I didn’t think about my own quest for a sparkly stone in my nose.

Until this comment brought me up short.

This is a gift to your husband. It may seem small but it is not… That you want to be beautiful for him… Yes in this age of feminism and self-ownership it may seem old fashion but…

You can buy “things” with money that will always be just “things”. This kind of gift goes so much deeper. You are giving a part of yourself… A piece of your freedom is being given as a gift of love. It reminds me of David when he was offered a piece of land to give to God and he said, “I will not give God something that cost me nothing.” This gift cost you something which adds to its value. Great gift!

To give up a piece of my freedom requires me to love you enough to sacrifice that freedom.

That shut me right up.

As much as I love to stir up passionate response, I will not do so by piercing my nose.

A magnetic diamond, on the other hand….

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