(Click here for the original Not Me! Monday by McMomma)

This week’s Not Me! Monday theme is “Things the Dog Ate.” For I, the responsible and consistent mother that I am, did not leave brand-new, super-cute leather sandals for Little Boy out within reach of Xena Warrior Princess’s leather-loving jaws. I also did not fail to notice what exactly she was chewing until after she had actually swallowed pieces of one sandal so that it was rendered irreparable. Not me!

I did not leave our bedroom door open in a rare moment of absent-mindedness (or not so rare – I’m growing more and more concerned about my consistent forgetfulness), which Xena promptly took advantage of. She did not discover any clothes left un-put-away on the floor of our room, nor did she start slurping down a pair of underwear. And I definitely did not begin to pull it out of her mouth only to discover half of it was all the way down her throat and in her belly like a goat. Not me!

When Big Boy dropped his entire fried egg on the floor, and Xena snagged it in 1/2 second, before he had a chance to even stand up, let alone turn around and pick it up again, I did not scold him for losing the race with the dog to the egg. And I certainly did not intend for him to eat the egg that had fallen on the floor in the event that he got to it first since that would be unsanitary. And furry. Since I did not neglect the sweeping and mopping of the dining room floor.

Not Me!