My Oldest Boy has generated a string of one-liners that have kept us rolling lately. I started writing things down so I wouldn’t forget any of them.

Yesterday, when he got off the bus I could tell he was goofing around with the girls on the bus with him. When I asked him, he said, “Yeah, they kiss me every day. And when they kiss me, I kiss them back.”

Oh that’s just great. I’m trying to tell him that he should only kiss me, not silly girls on school buses. But I think he enjoys their attention. And he is quite a handsome and funny lad, so I’m not at all surprised that the girls like him.

Another day at lunch (most of these gems make an appearance at meal time — little plug for sitting down together for meals), I had been really quiet and staring off into space. Little Girl asked me why I was staring. I explained that I was just thinking.

Oldest boy suddenly says, “Mom, I’ve been staring at Polly* every day at school. (Polly sits at his table.)”

“Why do you stare at her?” I inquired.

“I think she’s pretty and I think I’m going to marry her.”

I have to admit that the particular girl he’s referring to is cute and nice. I’ve met her. But should he be thinking about this at age six? (I’m not yet going to tell him that staring at her isn’t the best approach.)

Then today, he reassured me that he really is six at heart. We ran to the store for a few things, and along the way I picked up three cheese sticks which were on sale 3 for $1. I correctly guessed that saying yes to that one item would both appease the “I wantsies” and help them make it until dinner.

As we pulled out of the shopping center, Oldest Boy remarked, “This is like I throwed up and now I’m eating the throw-up in real life.”

“The cheese tastes like throw-up? Why are you still eating it?”

“Yes, but it tast-es good.”

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.